Emerald
by backpack bootswiper map
Summary: Everything you ever love will eventually hurt you.
1. beans

It was the color of his blood but the consistency of his diarrhea. It splattered and some of it missed the bucket. This is not the first warning sign he's seen. He pushes the thought away as he strains his eyes under the poor lighting. The master emerald shines brightly, but the color of the light makes it impossible for Knuckles to tell.

He looks out the cave and back at the emerald.

"Whatever you need to tell yourself, bro," he says out loud, digging at the dirt between his crossed legs. He ponders for a moment. He should get a rag. He should get the rag from the corner of the cave and mop that shit up and clean the rag. Maybe wipe down the emerald. He sees eternity through dust and fluidspots.

Something catches his attention. Something sinister.  
He looks up from the dirt between his legs and crawls on his hands and knees over to the magnificent jewel.  
Peering in. He feels his soul contracting and expanding simultaneously.

* * *

*ksssshhhhht*

"THAT's not an attitude you can take with ME, SONIC!" Amy proudly exclaims! crossing her arms and turning up her nose. "I'm a GIRL!"

"B-but Amy!" Sonic exclaims! Anime fall. "I was ONLY trying to find you a BIRTHDAY PRESENT!"

"YOU REMEMBERED MY BIRTHDAY SONIKKU?!" She exclaims! She hugs him because she is super kawaii but then she drops him quicker than a hot potato, or a hot onion for that matter. Anything you might drop that is hot. Embers. Cheeseburger. "WAIT a SECOND!" she 'members. "MY BIRTHDAY WAS YESTERDAY!"

"Uguuu~?! UWAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Amy has kicked him and he made that second sound while he was spiraling outward towards the sun.

*kssshhhht*

* * *

"H-hey uh. Knuckles? Bro?"

Sonic's voice startles the echidna, but he adjusts himself and he's fine. Blinks a couple of times. Rouge's titties bouncing in the reflection of his glassed over eyes. He speaks with some nasal blockage.  
"Yo, waddup bro."

"You okay, bro? You mondo missed the wedding and Sally's mondomegasuper pissed."

"I had a staff infection," Knuckles mutters wetly, thinking he's lying through his teeth.

"Oh, uh. Do you doin' any better now? You, like, need anything?"

"I'm doin' pretty okay I guess," he says, thinking he's telling the truth. "Sometimes I sweat too much in this damn cave but what are you gonna do?! Give the cave air conditionin'?! Hahaha! Nawh, du. Nawh, mang. Science."

Sonic is cautiously approaching. With each step he knows something is coming but he doesn't know what.

* * *

*ksssshhhht*

"Sonic, baby?" shadow asks as he jacks his dick and licks his lips. Writhing and squirming in the sort of pleasure only a degenerate knows.

"Yeth, Thadow, My Love?" Sonic asks, his jittery little tongue flicking in and out of his puckering anus.

"I think I'm pregnant," Shadow moans. "It's gonna be a gay little baby boy!"

"ERMRRGGHGRRRRR-"

*kssshhhht*

* * *

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-KZZT-  
-KZZT-  
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-KZZT-

...jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj  
jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj  
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-KZZT-  
-KZZT-  
-KZZT-  
-KZZT-

* * *

Sonic is cautiously approaching. With each step he knows something is coming but he doesn't know what.  
Sonic is cautiously approaching. With each step he knows something is coming but he doesn't know what.

-Sonic is cautiously approaching. With each step he knows something is coming but he doesn't know what.

-Sonic is cautiously approaching. With each step he knows something is coming but he doesn't know what.

-Sonic is cautiously approaching. With each step he knows something is coming but he doesn't know what.

-Sonic is cautiously approaching. With each step he knows something is coming but he doesn't know what.

-Sonic is cautiously approaching. With each step he knows something is coming but he doesn't know what.

-Sonic is cautiously approaching. With each step he knows something is coming but he doesn't know what.

-Sonic is cautiously approaching. With each step he knows something is coming but he doesn't know what.

-Sonic is cautiously approaching. With each step he knows something is coming but he doesn't know what.

* * *

*kssshhhhht*

"How could you have sex with him, Sonic?!"  
Robotnik chokes on his tears, bewildered. He's willing to die in this second, right now.

"It's all about the chilidog, RO-BUTT-NIK. And yours doesn't cut the mustard, bro! OR the CHILICHEESE!"

"PL-

*kssshhhht*

* * *

jjjjjjjjjjjjjJesus Christ dude! Are you nosebleeding onto your boner?!"

Knuckles looks down then he looks up. He definitely has a boner. "Sonic?" he asks. "Is that you?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you, bro?! You are MONDO not okay!"

"I'm fine dude," he says wiping his nose with his giant gloved fist. White fabric stained crimson. "Whoa. Thought my dizong looked blizack. Weird. Word."

"We mondo need to supersonic charge to the hospital, like now bro!"

"I'm fine," he weezes. "I just need a little emerald time. Emerald'll tell me when I'm sick and when I die. I just need a little jeweltime. Ewuuugggh?~"

Sonic grabs him by the shoulders and starts to drag him across the floor of the cave.

"We are fucking going to the goddamn hospit-"

That's when Knuckles goes nuts and starts flailing like a madman.

* * *

For reference, when Sonic has a badly injured knee, he can move at a brisk human walking pace. Dragging along Knuckles on his back? Less so on the briskness. Knuckles dragging the emerald behind them on a net? Far less brisk.

* * *

-KZZT-

* * *

*kssshhhht*

Amy examines the packet of razorblades in her hands before tearing them free. She only needs one. She tosses the rest carelessly onto the tile bathroom floor.

She's in the wedding dress, in the bathtub. The bathtub on legs she called it. The wedding on legs she called it.  
Sonic ran quicker than you might drop a hot potato, or the business end of an iron while it's turned on and hot. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. There's no such thing as love. 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So she cuts her wrists in the bathtub with the razorblades Sonic gave her wearing the wedding dress she should have married Sonic in at the wedding he never showed up to and so her beautiful white pure dress soaks in her crimson lifeforce and she dies sad and alone and thinking she is unloved in a bathtub when Sonic loved her the whole time he just had a heart attack on the run to the wedding and he died in a ditch and nobody eve . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

*kssshhhht*

* * *

"You didn't do fine," Knuckles cries, his final mistake as Sonic leaves him behind in the desert. "I saw every fucking mistake you made and I jerked off to it, you asshole! You fucking look at me when I'm talking to you!"

* * *

*kssshhhhht*

* * *

-KZZT-

* * *

"I'm glad we're friends," Sonic says, wrapping his arm around the neck of his little buddy, Tails. Tails, his little buddy. His little buddy Tails.

Tails, or Miles "Tails" Prower is called Tails because he has two tails. He uses them like helicopter blades! To fly! But he can't fly forever!.

* * *

Backpack, backpack - 2017


	2. rice

It never started here before, or did it?  
That blatant sense of irony. Sonic's running from his problems and Knuckles can't make a fist.

No, it's definitely started with this breed of irony. We are not the firsts, are we? We never were. 

* * *

"Rinds! My four skins are over you! Be leading the bleeding!" 

* * *

-KZZT-

"DONATE BEANS TO YOUR PRESIDENT TO YOUR PRESIDENT TO YOUR PRESIDENT."

-KZT- 

* * *

*kzzssshhhhttt*

It feels basically how you might imagine it feels when Shadow's hand against the back of your head forces you into a coma.  
You swear this is not a coma.  
You swear this is not all you.

You swear to the very universe you exist in that this universe exists. The universe believes you.

*krrrrsssshhhhhhhhtttt* 

* * *

*krrrssshht*

You're getting exhausted as you drag the body behind you. Desperately clinging to the giant rock it drags behind it in the net.  
You think you're safe by reading some fanfiction, escaping life for a second.  
But you aren't escaping life into fanfiction, are you? Or fuck maybe you are and I just ruined that. Fuck. FUCKfuckfuck. I'm sorry. Let's start over, okay?

Y-you are uh. You're not allowed to participate with this fanfiction in any form or fashion beyond just reading it. To avoid legal troubles, you are not involved in any way, shape or form in the production of this nonsense. Read the rules and regulations in regards to narrative in the second person.

But I am. And I am about to explode. Please read and review while we drag this display of courage and honor to its final resting place.

*shhhrrrrttkkkk* 

* * *

"kuh-kershk. Haha. Please kill me," the creature says. The creature wants to die, and you won't kill it. You won't kill it because you want to find a better place for it to exist. You won't kill it because you want it to die somewhere else. Have you ever seen the magician's claws? Oh wait, sound effects. kerchomp kerchomp kercho- 

* * *

"I could have sworn it was something else, I could have sworn it was something else. I could have swo-" 

* * *

*krrrrggggghhhh* 

* * *

"Y-you wouldn't have forgotten me if you hadn't been taught a lesson!"

Tails taunts from stuck in the trees. He tries to explain it better. Use your imagination. I won't bother to use mine if you won't bother to use yours. I'm one of those edgy fanfiction writers. 

* * *

And in this place you see that you shouldn't see there's like a thousand clones of everyone and everything on racks, and there's a million billion dead, and there's not much you can do about it. 

* * *

"I won't leave without it!" Knuckles thought he had screamed as he clubbed Sonic in the legs. He insisted if he was to go to the hospital, he'd need to be carried along with the emerald.

The thing about the emerald is that it defies gravity. Breaks it in a way. That's why it literally tore the ground out from under it and escaped to the sky.  
I don't really know shit about magnets or anything so I'll spare you the scifience. That was a combination of the words science fiction and science. I was trying to be clever. Do you think it was clever? Please leave a review and tell me that I am clever and loved. Say something like "your parents should be less disappointed in you than they are and you deserve all the accolades you can shake a stick at!" but in your own words and preferably use more than that. Say nice things. The world isn't nice enough.  
I'm serious.

Knuckles blinks away the terrible memories and ideas in his brain. He is crying and he cannot see because he is crying blood, the tears of vampires. But he is not a vampire, so that isn't as normal as it sounds.

His face is several shades of red, and his dreadlocks have begun falling out like stinkropes the congruential size if King Kong's butt pubes.  
A fist isn't made, but a fist is earned.

Sonic trudges forward, silently. Stumbling to his knees every time the island violently quakes under him. Crumbling, gravity's confused enemy tears it asunder.

He strains under the force of the world around him literally tears itself apart under his feet. He keeps whispering to himself, whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps whispering "I'm a hero" over again with each crunch of his labored steps . . . .

This is what is happening right now in the story you are reading. Not his right now, your right now. You. The one reading this instead of experiencing the weight of my very fingertips and the weight of your very eyes.  
Sonic is dragging the deteriorating Knuckles behind him by the ankle at this point. Knuckles is dragging the emerald behind them encased in a big fishing net. Staring into it. Leaving a slimy trail of his innumerable horrifying fluids and bodily secretions in their wake. Staining the emerald forever. Still, he can see into the bowels. He can see into everything. His precious realities.

At the edge of the island, as it truly falls into the sea, the ocean lends its bottom to a cosmic wonder. Still they walk. A red tide beyond imagination, as the creatures of the deep have become the pulsating and dying ground they walk upon made of rocks and living things and coral reefs.

On a readability scale of 1-10, how would you rate my performance? Please leave a review in the please leave a review box below.

Knuckles is bleeding out of his ass and wiping with his glove. He smells it. It doesn't smell good. He projectile vomits onto the emerald again. He watches Shadow kiss Amy. He watches Cream marry Tails. He imagines not being in a cave and not being worthless. He's punching the bad guys and kicking the villains. Sometimes he's the villain but that's okay he can just skip to something else. Imagine something else. Experience something else.

Knuckles wants to die when he remembers who he is. That's why he's confused. That's why he's 

* * *

*krrssshhht*

The body of Dora the Explorer was found nailed to a tree. Her eyes had been hollowed out and her empty sockets refitted for appropriately sized flashlights. Bootprints to and from this area disappear at the highway.  
Her chest carved out and her organs stuffed into the backpack nailed loosely to her arm along with a map to this exact location.

Twelve of her teeth, a sample of her brain, three of her smaller toes and a fistful of scalp seem to have been swiped. It's an All American Tragedy.  
Officer Bimb and Officer Norbl are on the case. They shine flashlights at things. They pull out their guns sometimes, just to look at them.  
Glocks. Nice.

"You bet your goddamn fluids I'm gonna rail one in and pull one off!" Officer Bimb says in regards to moving his coatrack. Unsure of the order in which he'd need to complete these tasks. "Holy shit a dead fella," he says, shining the flashlight at the flashlights.

"Whoa. That aint no fella. That's a small Mexican girl."

"Well, fuck my wife and call her Aunt Jemimah. That mean we doesn't gotta do no paper work," Officer Bimb says, throwing his stupid, stupid hat in the air.

"Oh good I can't read, especially not in Spanish."

"First round is on me, rookie. I'll teach you how to finger vagrants in the buttholes and totally get away with it."

"I am so glad that Donald Trump is our president, and our legal right as cops is to finger vagrants in the buttholes and disregard minorities as human beings entirely."

"America is truly great again."

*krrrssshhhht* 

* * *

When Sonic abandoned him in the New Floating Desert he didn't mind as much as he should have, because Knuckles still had the master emerald.

He could see an alternate reality, an alternate ending where he made it to the hospital and the doctors told him he had cancer and he died surrounded by his loved ones telling him how much they loved him. It was a way better ending. 

* * *

"Say, Knux? KNUX?!"

Knuckles is startled. His attention "...yeah?"

"What'd you say you named that goddamn thing?"

"I named it fanfiction dot net, Sonic. Why are you asking?"

"I hate it," Sonic says, exhausted. "I hate it so much."


	3. stuff i forgot to put in the story, sorr

Hey guys sorry I forgot to add the scene where Sonic is dragging Knuckles and the emerald and he's all like "bro it is mondomegasuper uncool of you to make me drag this thing" and Knuckles is like "he has a name bro!" but doesn't say the name.

Also I wanted to do more at the hospital I think. There was something else. Let me think about it while I go to the bathroom. Be back in a sec.


	4. sorry, more stuff i forgot to put in the

Sorry that took me so long guys, I was pooping but I only pooped a little bit so it wasn't even worth it. Anyway I grabbed another beer and pooped and thought about it and I think I was going to do a thing where I asked you to tell me about how you felt about the Dora Dead Body Scene and the mention of President Donald Trump. I'd like to do a political research on you so if you haven't read and reviewed the story please do that thing again where you read and reviewed the story and if you haven't do that.

I like this story and think it's pretty good so please read and review a bunch of times and tell me I'm good. Or I'll stab you! Lol! Just kidding I'd never hurt you with a knife or sharp/pointy object. :)

There was something else, I think. It'll come to me.


End file.
